My Life is Like a Terrible Game of Mario Party...

Throughout my existence, certain events and discoveries have led me to believe that life itself is against me. From day one, I knew that being an English major probably wasn't the smartest choice I could make, but I figured, "Hey, I enjoy this subject, I get great marks in it, might as well continue to frolic in this general direction..." WRONG. Boy was I ever wrong. University recruiters and current students will tell you that "typically", you will experience a change in marks during your transition from High School to University. However, they do not explain how big or little of a change that will be. For me, it was like getting smacked in the face with more knowledge than my brain could handle, and I felt as if I had been left completely vulnerable and unprepared,thanks to my high school's lack of preparation for the real world.  Now, I'm not saying that I blame my initial decline solely on my high school. Heck, I really enjoyed a lot of the classes I had taken, and some of the teachers were top notch. But realistically, they should have been straight forward with me when I approached them about my decision to go into English, especially during a time when the economy is in the toilet, and there are little to no jobs which require solely an Arts degree. 
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Kelsey, stop rambling and get to the point of this post already..." I'm getting there, momentarily, just bear with me. 
During my studies, I would find signs about my impending doom as an English students almost everywhere I went. I felt as if what I was doing was completely pointless. One of the assigned readings in my 18th Century Literature had a chapter entitled: 

(Apologies for the vertical image, I created this post with reckless abandon)

This is when I realized that my future was going to be a world of confusion, and utter disappointment. Throughout my travels, I would find myself being engaged in discussions, during which I would become the subject of concern. Upon telling people that indeed, I was an English major, the follow-up questions would quickly ensue, "And, what are your plans for afterwards?" "What are you planning on doing with your life?" "Are you interested in teaching English abroad?" To which I would mumble an answer which seemed justified. Usually, I came up with, "I've always wanted to be a teacher," which isn't completely untrue, but in today's job market, is completely unrealistic. 

During a trip, I came across a book which pretty much summed up my situation. 

As I picked it up I laughed, not only because the title/subtitle is completely accurate, but because I had come to the realization that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with my life. But for now, I think I'm okay with that. 

I would want nothing more than to be able to travel around the globe, and write about all of the cultures I have learned about in my various English/History courses, pay off my student loan, and write/create simply for the sake of creating something, and enjoying the process as well as the product. (I definitely just went full-on Virginia Woolf there for a second...if you don't know what I'm referring to, I highly suggest that you read her work, "A Room of One's Own").

But for now, it seems as if I am a wandering character in a bland narrative, hoping to find some rising action for this plot of a life....

Or, simply a character in Mario Party who never has enough coins for a freaking star, and keeps getting the crap end of the stick on every Event ("?") and Bowser space. 

(And yes, this actually happened to me.) 

What is this...

Okay, so, I'm a graduate. I have a Bachelor of Arts in English. I had to move back in with my parents. I am unemployed. I am exactly where I didn't want to be at the age of 21, almost 22. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, hello fellow humans/and or advanced species of cat that can use the internet. This is my first extra-curricular blog. I have made others in the past for educational purposes, that contained some pretty uninteresting stuff. I hope to change that starting....NOW. After reading several wonderful blogs including The Oatmeal and Hypberbole And A Half, (as well as being egged on by friends, acquaintances, and peers), I have decided to take a leap of faith into the unknown. I own a PC, and do not have Photoshop, or anything near to its equivalent, so I make terribly photoshopped images for the sake of their own hideousness. I feel like this blog will be a "Notre Dame" of sorts to the numerous Quasi Modos which spawn from the deepest/strangest recesses of my mind. 
Example A of what happens when I have have access to a computer, and the subject of a sophisticated, English Budgie came up in a conversation: 

...Didn't see THAT one coming, did you? Yes unfortunately, that is what my mind conjured up.

As an English and History student, I was subjected to taking mandatory courses which included lectures that I felt I had already experienced in high school. Case and point; while going through old notes, I discovered this gem:

Many humorous things seemed to have found their way into my studies, not only through my own note taking, but also while trying to study online. While quizzing myself about my knowledge of Shakespeare's works, I used several sites to test my memory. One site however, featured a quiz with many questionable response options. For instance:

Even though A isn't the correct option, it is clearly the funniest, and should therefore become part of the play. I demand a rewrite.

I guess you could say, that 4th year Kelsey had a major case of "Senioritus" and stopped caring about succeeding. She graduated, which is good for her and all, but does not however, provide her with a high-paying job, or prospective employment opportunities. So for now, I guess this blog will have to do.